trust (#gettingplayed?)

Frustrating lines of trust and reason
To believe someone at their first word
Deferred from their history, what is the meaning
Of the truth from someone you never fully trusted?
Concave circles and quadratic equations
Just to get to the heart of the matter
Factoring in your own insecurities
And the past chains locked in place
Stand still while standstills block you from moving forward
On the long winding journey you must take
Awakenings are on the horizon
Let your longing be the catalyst for your eternal freedom

the asshole has been left behind
and the uncertain one plays games
bottom feeders and attention seekers
i seem to be attracted to utmost pain

i send up a prayer to change
i send up a prayer to choose
a path to a soul who can contain me
envelope me into his majestic sea

hold me close when i’ve lost my energy
kiss me slow with profound meaning
i’ll do the same and more until the end of me
i’m just at a point where i’m tired of seeking

and sinking into itching flesh
that won’t rest until satiation
salvation in ethereal experiences
promoting me to never go back there again

i send up a prayer of humility
i send up a prayer of gratitude
breaking in my wings of freedom
to fly towards radiance

give me peace to grow graciously
and patience to persistently persevere
let luminance banish obscurity
and hope remain true in my core.